@MiniClaus + BITKONG
Deep in the forest lives the abominable BitKong, a formidable ape with a penchant for blondes, climbing, and eating custodial technicians. But his real passion… is crypto! Back in 2009, BitKong was already stacking BTC like a king, which is why some believe he is the original Satoshi, still hoarding coins deep within the jungle. Others think that's silly. But whatever you believe, being a crypto millionaire is not enough of a thrill for this Gigantopethicus. And that is his only weakness, and possibly his downfall... BitKong is bored, but he loves to gamble. By using an elaborate system of coconuts, ropes, and pulleys, he has created a provably fair game that will strain your nerves with a chance at striking it rich as bananas. And relax, the random results of the game are generated using the solid, provably fair system! The prizes are predefined when you press start, but nobody knows that result in advance, and thus nobody can manipulate the result. So, your luck is the only thing that matters. This means that BitKong is 100% verifiably fair. Go ahead and look. The ground shakes. "So, you want to be the new king of the jungle?" BitKong mimes in sign language. "Give it a go and see if you can be the hero of this story. Maybe you'll get lucky, but keep your hands off the girls I have in my cave." Travelers have known to return from his lair in their underpants, staring at their feet and sighing, "Well, at least he wasn't a loanshark!". Others groaned at his puns and bought themselves a Rolex with their winnings. Now say what you will about this big hairy beast, but his games are always fair. Play BitKong, get rich and tell girls you are an early adopter. They'll be impressed. Or lose everything and struggle to explain it to your wife. Preferably something in the middle.